How & when to seek clarity when dating
https://www.fastbaze.com/2017/07/how-when-to-seek-clarity-when-dating.html
So here you are, meeting up with a guy for occasional dates, talking on the phone for hours on end, and just vibing well and getting to know each other.
As
time goes on, the dates become more frequent… you feel good with each
other, everything is nice and sweet… but there’s are still no labels.
You
are dating and basically doing other ‘relationship stuff’, but you’re
still not in a relationship because, of course, the topic has not been
broached even though it’s eating you up inside.
This is a familiar juncture for many ladies. The part where you have to say, "damn it, I need to know what we are doing here."
After
a while of dating and being together without labels, the need for
clarification and clear expression of intent is needed so you know if
what you’re feeling is mutual or you’re on your own.
You
know it could go either ways – he could just be enjoying the dates, sex
and all while you are already catching feelings and getting attached.
The easiest answer would be to ask him, right?
To ask what is it you’re both doing; and what all the dates, hangouts, and phonecalls mean to him.
Sadly it’s never that easy.
Most
women fear that the guy might not be interested in a relationship, that
all the time they’ve spent dating and hoping for a happy ending would
be a waste. So they continue in the situationship even further… setting
themselves up for bigger misery.
The real
possibility of disappointment is not what many are prepared to face,
and imagine initiating this conversation and the guy happens to just be
catching cruise and enjoying himself, with no feelings attached. That’ll
be mightily awkward to say the very least.
These are some of the reason why many women would rather stay in the comfort of not asking the 'what are we' question.
However,
as probable as the disappointment might be, you still need to know!
Ignorance is not bliss in this situation. If a guy is not clearly
stating his intentions, or putting labels on it and you feel time is
being wasted, you need to absolutely ask. Regardless of fear of losing
him.
But when is the right time to ask?
Some believe one month is ideal depending on how quickly the bond is
being created and how strong it’s getting.
In
my opinion, you have to ask before the end of three months after your
first meeting. This is reasonable enough so that you don’t appear
desperate to be in a relationship. It also ensures y9ou don’t stay too
long before knowing what’s up.
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Watch the clip below to catch relationships vlogger, Eniola Abumere and his guest, Lape Soetan discuss this in the easiest, relatable and insightful way imaginable.
Lape
is a relationships coach for women and you can watch the clip below to
learn their opinion on how to ask the ‘are we in a relationship’ and
when to seek clarity when dating.
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